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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 13, 2012 4:39:54 GMT -5
It was all Fate’s fault they were here. Really, all Harry had wanted to do was rescue his godfather from the grasp of a deranged madman bent on ruling the entire Wizarding world. Next thing he knew, he was facing a tall, gloomy boy with flames coming out of his hand. “Bloody Hell!”
That would be Ron, facing the same thing only it was a girl holding a boulder right over the Ginger’s head. Ginny was being threatened with water, Neville a fan and Luna was being threatened by a boy with an odd weapon of sorts. “Who are you?” the gloomy one asked. Well, more like demanded. “Did my father send you?”
“Would it help our case if I said I have no clue who your father is?” Harry asked, trying to hold the fear out of his voice. He may have developed a tiny phobia of fire ever since the First task where he had to face a dragon. Hey, you’d be afraid of fire too if it was coming at you fast enough to burn your bones before you could say ‘ouch’.
“Zuko, he’s not lying,” the girl with the boulder said. “I’d be able to tell if he was.”
“Guys, stand down,” a small boy with an arrow on his head told the rest of the group. “If they worked with the Fire Lord, wouldn’t they have attacked the moment they landed?”
Thank you small bald boy, Harry couldn’t help but think. He then winced as the pain in his scar intensified. “Um…can we lea—oh bloody hell!”
“Harry!” Hermione scolded.
“Well I’m sorry Hermione but the Thestrals are gone leaving us no way to go and rescue Sirius!”
“What do you mean ‘gone’?” Ginny asked, turning to Harry rather than stand with water an inch away from her face. She was the only one who didn’t look petrified of her attacker but then, who’d be afraid of a little water?
“I mean, gone. Not here. Missing.”
“Well now that that’s cleared up,” Ron remarked dryly, “why not worry about the people who seem to be attacking us with water, fire, earth, a fan and a stick?”
“IT’S NOT A STICK!”
“Quiet Sokka,” the small girl with the boulder said with a smirk as she threw the boulder far away from Neville. The resulting crash caused the British group to jump, but the girl just smirked. “There, that better?”
“You know you just gave up your weapon?” The girl stomped on the ground and produced yet another boulder. “No problem,” she said smirking. Neville began shaking a little at that; though as Harry thought, so did he. Though, he was also staring at the girl in shock.
“Toph,” Sokka warned. “Aang’s right. I think.”
“Oh that’s reassuring,” Ginny muttered and reached for her wand. Harry pulled her hand away just as the water girl splashed at her.
“OI!” Ron yelled, having seen the action as well. “Keep your water away from my little sister!”
“Honestly Ron, I can take care of myself,” Ginny said but without the scowl that would normally be on her face when her brothers thought her too delicate to do anything. The only two who seemed to stand down by that were Zuko and Sokka to their group’s surprise.
“Okay, how about names?” Aang suggested as if trying to keep the peace.
“Well I’m Sokka—“
“I think he meant us,” Hermione said with a raised eyebrow, interrupting the idiot. “Honestly, he’s worse than Fred and George.”
“Is that possible?” Ron asked as Ginny gasped.
“We’re waiting,” Zuko growled and Harry, not one to anger a man who could control fire, quickly answered.
“My name’s Harry Potter,” he said and inwardly rejoiced when none of the people gave a second glance at the mention of his name. “I’m fifteen.”
“Hermione Granger.”
“Ron Weasley.”
“Neville Longbottom.”
“Luna Lovegood.”
“Ginny Weasley,” Ginny finished. “Luna and I are fourteen.”
“Are you Benders?” Aang asked in curiosity and excitement. “Is that why you were sent? Did Avatar Roku send you to help us?”
“What’s a Bender?” Hermione asked. “I haven’t read anything about that.”
“Dad told us about Benders back when Mum was schooling us,” Ron said with a frown. “They’re supposedly the people before wizards. The air benders became natural flyers, the earth benders excelled in Herbology, the fire benders could master the incendo charm before anyone and the water benders created the Black Lake at Hogwarts.”
“How’d you remember that?” Ginny asked.
“It was interesting,” Ron shrugged. “So I take it we’ve traveled to the time of the Benders?”
“Yeah,” Zuko nodded slowly, as if unsure of what his next action would be. Ron turned to Harry and asked, “Can we panic now?” Harry nodded slowly as well. Well, until Hermione exclaimed loudly.
“Wait a minute! I did read something about benders!”
“You did?” the remainder of the trio asked. Ginny just shook her head in amusement; they were seriously asking that question from Hermione?
“Yes, back in third year. I was in the library—don’t give me that look Ronald!—and I came across a book titled ‘Benders in Wizarding Britain.”
“Hermione, this helps us how?” Ron asked, still giving Zuko a wary look.
“It doesn’t,” Hermione frowned. “I thought it was interesting.” Ginny had gotten her wand out and was trying to conjure something with her wand to protect herself from the girl with the water. Key word: trying.
“Uh…Harry?”
“Yeah Ginny?” Harry turned to Ginny and frowned at her worried look.
“We’ve got a bigger problem than just the Thestrals,” she said and then tried to stun him to prove her point.
“I see,” Harry said and his eyes widened in shock. He got out his wand to try to return the favor but to no avail. “Our magic is gone. This is bad.”
“Hey don’t feel bad,” Sokka said, having heard the conversation. “I’ve got no magic and look at me!” There was a brief moment of silence and then Neville turned to Harry.
“How soon till we get out of here again?” he asked dryly.
It's an Harry Potter/Avatar story. Tell me your thoughts!
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 13, 2012 15:05:46 GMT -5
Oh man, I seriously had to refrain bursting out laughing at times... considering doing so would be bad for me. I still let some loose, quietly. But it was hard! This is good.
I love Sokka. Now the benders should play nice, and introduce themselves... Sokka did!
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 13, 2012 15:09:14 GMT -5
Thanks for your input! Sokka and Toph are my favorites of the original good guys; Zuko gets my love as the bad boy turned good.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 14, 2012 13:03:20 GMT -5
Oh, man, yeah, Toph is awesome too... as for bad guys, I love Azula's two sidekicks... Heh. Also, who doesn't love Uncle Iroh?
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 14, 2012 14:56:20 GMT -5
Iroh to me is like Dumbledore without all the manipulations.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 15, 2012 16:37:29 GMT -5
Iroh is so much better than Dumbledore! But yeah, no manipulations from him! He's funnier too.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 15, 2012 20:52:51 GMT -5
Much funnier! And he seems to really care about Zuko, while Dumbledore only saw Harry as a pawn to defeat Voldemort.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 16, 2012 15:25:12 GMT -5
Yes, and he tried to warn him and stuff too, but letting Zuko make his own choices, giving him choices, in fact, and telling him what is prefered. Anyway, he was awesome.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 16, 2012 16:33:04 GMT -5
Yeah he was awesome. i'm debating about making that chapter into a multi-chaptered story. Not sure yet how it would go.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 17, 2012 16:49:05 GMT -5
Hmm, could be interesting... But yeah, see how you can work the angle first... would it pan out?
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 25, 2012 10:31:20 GMT -5
Chapter Two: Is it possible? A/N: I do not own anything from Avatar nor do I own anything from Harry Potter.
The two groups sat in a circle, facing away from each other in a way that would appear to any outsiders that a giant fight had broken out. “What are we going to do?” Ginny whispered. “We can’t get home without the Thestrals and we can’t stay here without our magic.” “What’s the plan Harry?” Neville asked. “I think we’re going to have to trust those guys,” Harry said after a few minutes. “They know the land, and more importantly, they can defend us if need be.” Suddenly, a giant explosion cut off all forms of communication between either group. A raven-haired woman stood on what looked like a hot-air balloon; grinning in a way that reminded Harry of a character in one of Aunt Petunia’s soap operas. “Azula!” Zuko growled upon seeing the woman. “Aw Zuzu! Not happy to see me?” Azula cooed as another blast sent down more rubble onto the group. “Oh well.” Aang and Toph were beating the rocks back, but there were too many for them to take by themselves. “We’re going to have to escape!” the girl with the ability to control water shouted as more rubble fell. “We’ll get killed if we don’t.” A scream let out as rubble was about to fall onto Luna, who was already trapped by previous rubble. Without communication, Harry and Neville rushed to her aid. Before they could explain it, two miracles occurred: the rocks moved themselves away from Luna upon Neville’s touch and the falling ones fell off to the side as Harry waved desperately trying to do something. “That will need explaining later,” Harry said and Neville nodded. “Everyone on to Appa!” Aang shouted. Harry looked to see a giant fluffy bison sitting right in front of him. This was officially the strangest day of his life. …….
At their camp site, everyone was exhausted. The girl who control water lied down on the ground with a sigh so loud, Harry was sure someone else heard it miles away. “Who was that?” Ginny asked after a few minutes of silence. “That woman who attacked us?” “Azula,” Zuko said with obvious hatred in his voice. “My sister. Otherwise known as the next Firelord, should my father win this war.” “Okay,” Ginny said slowly, regretting her choice of asking. “How can you guys control what you control?” Ron asked, bored of all the quiet. One of the girls smiled at him. “I’m a Water bender,” she said. “I guess I better give you my name as it seems like we’re going to be together for a while. It’s Katara. I’m Sokka’s sister.” “Nice to meet you Katara,” Ginny smiled back. Aang wasn’t listening to the conversation though; he was staring intently at Harry. “You’re an Air bender aren’t you?” he asked and everyone stopped talking. “What?” Harry asked, shocked. “No, I’m a wizard.” “I saw what you made those rocks do,” Aang told him. “Only an Air bender could have made those rocks fall away like that.” Hermione smiled at the group. “Maybe our magic isn’t gone after all,” she said. …….. The next day, they all got up early to see what they could possibly do about this new development. “It’s weird though,” Harry told Ginny. “I can’t do it now.” “Maybe you just need practice,” Ginny said with a grin. “I’ll probably end up with nothing and spend time with Sokka.” “Nah, you’ll get something Ginny,” Neville walked up to them. “I’ll probably be the no-one. I was practically a squib at school.” “No you weren’t!” Ginny snapped. “Stop thinking like that Neville. You wouldn’t have come with us had you still thought that way.” Neville smiled at her but jumped as Luna appeared behind him. “Merlin, Luna! Don’t do that!” “I was just playing with the tide,” Luna said, pointing to the lake that was by their campsite. “It was fun seeing the water preform for me.” “What is Loony talking about now?” Ron asked as Hermione followed him. “Please tell me it isn’t Nargles.” “Ron!” Ginny snapped at her brother, failing to notice the four benders right behind her, and continued to tear into her brother. They all failed to realize they had company until a small cough from Zuko caught their attention. “Hem, hem.” Twelve pairs of eyes snapped on him like Filch on rule breakers and Zuko would have never admitted it to anyone but he was a little freaked out by that. “Never do that again,” Harry said as he stuffed his right hand into his pocket. “We’ve got a teacher back home that does that to get attention and…” “She’s absolutely horrid,” Hermione cut Harry off. “It’s the Ministry trying to control Hogwarts from the inside only because Fudge can’t admit that Voldemort is back. Ron, stop flinching!” Aang decided that he’d ask who Voldemort was later. Now was the time to see if these six were actually benders or not. “Okay, what’s the game plan?” Ron asked, ready to get started. “Uh….” Aang looked at Katara and Zuko desperately. He didn’t exactly know how to confirm someone as a bender or not. “This sounds like it’ll take a while,” Ron sighed, his eagerness readily depleting.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 25, 2012 14:35:06 GMT -5
Hmm, I think you're rushing things a bit here. Also, 12 pairs of eyes mean 12 people and I don't think you have that many there. I suggest fleshing out areas and how they react to each other more first. Also, a bit more description of where they are at. What is the new area they are at like? All I know is there is a lake nearby and only after you had Luna point it out...
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 25, 2012 14:58:11 GMT -5
Oh, okay.
Thanks for pointing out that twelve pairs of eyes meant twelve people. It would be six pairs of eyes, right?
Would it be better to have a chapter where the two groups talk about their lives before the attack? Have Azula's attack be maybe the third chapter?
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 26, 2012 18:03:08 GMT -5
Indeed, if you're just going with those from Hogwarts. Hmm, I was thinking more cliffhangar style, have all this getting settled, and at the end of the chapter, AZULA! Cut off there and have the attack be in the next chapter.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Sept 26, 2012 18:42:29 GMT -5
Ah not a bad idea If it's one thing I'm not all that good at, it's chapter pacing.
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Post by Trilonias on Sept 27, 2012 16:24:25 GMT -5
*nods* Yeah, oh, and another suggestion? Try expanding upon/describing more of the fight. I know it's hard, as I have a hard time with them too, but I think the fight will need more than a few lines... especially when so many people are involved.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Nov 4, 2012 16:43:57 GMT -5
[The Real] Chapter Two
A/N: I own nothing!
The two groups split off a few minutes after the first meeting; Harry’s group went off by the wall of the cave-like thing that they all seemed to be in.
“Harry, what are we going to do?” Ginny whispered in a panicked voice and Ron looked almost pale. Even Luna didn’t seem to have her dreamy quality to her, which told Harry just how serious this really was. “What if they’re not benders? What if they’re Death Eaters instead?”
“I don’t know what we can do,” Harry sighed as he looked at the weak fire Hermione had managed to get started and was currently stoking. “Look, our magic can’t be all gone. My scar keeps hurting so either Voldemort is here with us or—“
“You can still sense him!” Hermione gasped, distracted from her examination of the walls, which seemed to have images of some kind engraved on them. “Our magic must have become dormant for some reason. I wonder why?”
“Yeah, and why we ended up at the time of the benders,” Ginny muttered. “The un-friendly benders to top it off. I mean, who meets someone for the first time and holds them hostage with the elements, some weird bendy stick and a fan?”
“Ginny, I think they’re at war,” Hermione reminded her red-haired friend as she put down the stick she’d been using to stoke the fire. “Think of what we’d do if we were in their position.”
“Hex the living daylights out of them?”
“Exactly,” Hermione nodded. “We’re lucky that little boy who was traveling with them convinced the others not to attack us. Harry’d be barbeque right now if he hadn’t.”
“Thank Merlin for small favors,” Ron sighed.
Meanwhile, Team Avatar seemed to be having a similar discussion of their own off in their little corner of the temple.
“I think we should invite them over to join us,” Aang said as Zuko started a fire to keep them all warm. “They mean us no harm.”
“And how do you know that?” Zuko asked with an eyebrow raised. “For all we know, they could be acting and kill us the second we trust them. Or should I say, kill you.”
“Why me?” Aang asked, his eyes getting wider in his surprise.
“Well you are the Avatar,” Sokka said carelessly. “Wouldn’t surprise me if you had assassins on your tail. Remember Combustion Man?”
“Sokka!” Katara scolded her brother and then looked over at the other group before turning her attention back to the others. “Look, it’s clear that they don’t know what to do without their powers. I know I wouldn’t if I was them. Zuko, imagine if your bending was taken from you instantly. Or your bending Toph. Or yours Aang.”
The three mentioned benders shared a look, each knowing that they wouldn’t know what to do if such an event were to ever happen. Aang got up and slowly walked over to the other group.
“Hello,” he smiled at the six, who stared steadily back. Aang was a little unnerved by the distrusting looks. The last time he had a look like that was from Sokka when he [Aang] came out of the iceberg. “We’ve got a nice big fire going over on our side of the temple if you’d like to join us?”
Luna quickly stood up and walked over to the other group, leaving five unsure teens.
“Well, if you change your mind, you’re always welcome,” Aang said and then walked back to his group.
0000
“Well Luna trusts them,” Harry said. “Maybe we should go and join their group.”
“Harry,” Hermione sighed, “Luna believes in Nargles and Wrakspurts. That doesn’t exactly mean that her judgment is the best.”
“Lay off her Hermione,” Ginny glared at her friend. “I’m going, just to make sure Luna’s alright.”
“Well then I’m going to make sure you’ll be alright,” Ron said, looking at Ginny in a way that made it impossible for Ginny to argue with him. “Neville, you in?”
“I don’t know,” Neville sighed.
“Harry?” Ron, who’d gotten up, offered his hand to his best mate. “You in?”
“I’m not leaving Hermione and Neville,” Harry said. “But I also don’t want you guys getting hurt. We should stay as a group no matter what.”
“Bit late for that, mate,” Ron said, jerking his head to where Luna was now sitting next to the girl who had confronted Ginny upon their arrival.
Hermione, who had noticed this, sighed and then stood up. “I still think this is the most idiotic thing we’ve ever done,” she stated as she helped Neville up.
“Seriously?” Harry raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who disproved of the plan to go and make sure Sirius was alright before we actually implemented the plan.”
“I’m not going to dignify that with a response,” Hermione sniffed.
“That’s because she doesn’t have one,” Ron muttered to Harry and they bit back their snickers upon Hermione’s glare. “Let’s go!”
The five walked over to the other group, where Luna cheerfully made room for Ginny to sit next to her.
“Sokka?” Harry asked a little nervously. He approached Sokka because he was the only one to give his name upon their arrival.
“Yeah?” Sokka looked up from the piece of meat he was devouring. “What do you need?”
“We were wondering if we might be able to sit next to your fire,” Hermione said bravely. She motioned to theirs, which never managed to light up. “We failed somewhat in ours.”
The little boy smiled and nodded. “Sure! There’s room for all of us by the fire. Come join us.”
Ron sat down by Ginny, who now was between him and Luna. Harry sat on Ron’s other side and Hermione took the spot next to him—leaving Neville to sit next to the girl who’d confronted him with the boulder.
“I guess,” the girl stated, “if we’re all going to be getting along, we should make our names known. I mean, they gave us their names. We should do the same.”
“I’m Aang!” the boy with the arrow on his head said with a grin. “I’m an air bender!”
“I’m Katara,” the girl who confronted Ginny smiled softly. “I’m a water bender.”
“I’m Toph,” the girl next to Neville said with a smirk. “I’m an earth bender.” “Zuko, fire bender.”
“I’m Suki,” the last girl smiled. “I’m not a bender but a member of the Kyoshi warriors.”
“Sokka,” Sokka grinned. “Meat and Sarcasm guy.”
“Nice to meet all of you,” Luna smiled as she stared into the fire. “Ooh, Nargles!” Harry could see Zuko give the girl a questioning look, as if scared for her sanity.
“You’ll have to forgive Luna,” Hermione said.
“Why?” Sokka asked. “She’s cool!”
All the DA members gave the boy an odd look, as did the members of Team Avatar. Shaking their heads, they all seemed to strike up conversations now that the tension between the groups had ended.
“Tell us about your world,” Katara said with a comforting smile. “It seems so strange, a world without benders or the Avatar.”
“Who’s the Avatar?” Ginny asked curiously.
“I am,” Aang said, no grin on his face to be seen. “It’s my duty to learn all the elements and master the Avatar state. Once I’ve done that, I need to face the Fire Lord and end this war once and for all.”
“No pressure,” Ron muttered under his breath, sneaking a glance to Harry.
“I’ve learnt all but fire,” Aang continued, having not heard Ron’s comment. “Zuko’s been teaching me all I need to know.”
“Cool! Can I watch?” Ginny asked with a grin on her face, which fell when Zuko shook his head, unknowingly making the fire glow brighter and edge towards Harry.
“Fire is the most volatile of the elements. A beginner, even one as powerful as Aang, can’t possibly control it for very long.”
“Oh,” Ginny said, understanding the restrictions now. “I still would like to see some bending while I’m here.”
“Earth and Water are the safest elements to watch,” Zuko told her. “Even Air is dangerous, as the right amount of force could blow you off the edge.”
“Hey Zuko! Stop with the firebending!” Sokka shouted, interrupting the conversation. “You’re kinda freaking out the new guys.”
“I’m not doing any bending Sokka,” Zuko turned to snap at the warrior when he saw the fire. Instantly, he fixed his mistake. “Oh. I had no idea.”
“It’s fine,” Harry lied, trying to get the color back to his face without anyone seeing.
“Yeah, when you’ve faced what Harry’s faced, a little fire’s nothing,” Ron snorted, patting Harry on the back.
“Oh?” Katara looked interested. “How about a story?”
Harry looked over at Ron and Hermione, and then at Ginny. “I don’t know if I know any interesting stories—“
“Harry, stop being so noble,” Ron snorted. “How about the time you drove off 100 dementors at once?”
“Or the time you killed the Basilisk with the sword of Gryffindor?” Hermione reminded him.
“Or the time we all helped save the Sorcerer’s Stone in our first year?” Ron added on.
“Or the time you and Ron took out a Troll with a first year spell?” Hermione added her two knuts.
“Or—“
“ALL RIGHT!” Zuko shouted, annoyed at the constant noise. “Just pick a subject and tell us. Before Sokka wets himself with excitement.”
The Ministry Six chuckled at the disgusted look Sokka gave to Zuko. Harry thought for a moment.
“Well, what about my first Quidditch game?” Harry suggested. “That’s relatively interesting.”
Ron and Ginny nodded eagerly, Ginny excited to hear about Harry’s first ever Quidditch game.
“What’s Quidditch?” Sokka asked but no one seemed to hear as Harry launched into the explanation, exaggerating some of the dives and stopping when Katara would gasp in fright. When he finished, the only one without a look of awe on their face was Zuko.
“You should think of writing when you finish Hogwarts Harry,” Ginny said breathlessly. “You kept Ron occupied for that entire length of time and that’s saying something.”
Zuko chuckled under his breath as he put out the fire. “We should get some sleep. As close to the Fire Nation as we are, you never know what could happen.”
0000
The next morning had the groups awoken by a large crumbling sound. Harry shot up like a rocket and grabbed his wand only to remember that his magic didn’t work in this world.
“What are you doing?” he heard Katara shout as a barrage of rocks fell near him and Ginny.
“Keeping rocks from crushing you,” Zuko told her.
“Well, I’m not crushed so get off!”
Harry’s attention was diverted from the argument by the arrival of a crazed looking woman with black hair. Everyone else seemed to know her, judging by the looks of hatred that were being sent her way.
“Azula!” Zuko growled, his fists lighting up with flames.
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Post by Trilonias on Nov 4, 2012 18:48:25 GMT -5
Mmm, much better! I think it could use more work still, but then that could just be me, being used to reading looooong chapters. As it is, I can already tell there's better pacing, more interactions and developments along with a better flow.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Nov 4, 2012 21:19:28 GMT -5
Trilonias: What needs work? Cause I already know it could be somewhat better. How long of chapters are you used to BTW?
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Post by Trilonias on Nov 5, 2012 16:59:55 GMT -5
I'm used to reading from anywhere from 5k to 20k words in a chapter... so yeah. Some I've seen are longer, but I think at that point it's getting ridiculous. But I read Robert Jordan, soo...
And really, I think you mostly need more description.
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Post by ginnyrules27 on Nov 6, 2012 18:22:54 GMT -5
Holy cats! That's a lot of words for one chapter.
Where do you think the description is needed? Sorry for all the questions but I love feedback from people who read my stuff.
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Post by Trilonias on Nov 6, 2012 19:47:16 GMT -5
Describe the cave and the characters a bit more, along with their actions. After that, next time you don't need to describe them as much. But yeah, I have a hard time describing actions too.
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