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Post by brokenquill92 on Jul 11, 2012 8:50:03 GMT -5
I'm on the fence about the age thing but otherwise they're a good couple
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Post by physicssquid on Jul 11, 2012 10:46:50 GMT -5
I think they are a good couple. Age shouldn't matter, as long as the gap isn't too big. The age gap between Tonks and Remus is about thirteen years, which isn't as big as the gaps between some celebrities and their partners, so I don't think it matters all that much.
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Post by Silenia on Jul 11, 2012 10:58:31 GMT -5
Age should, in my opinion, not matter as long as the relationship is consensual and both (or all if it's a non-monogamous relationship) parties are of an age where they can properly give consent - in other words, realize what they are consenting to.
Why should age matter as long as people are in love with each other and they all know what they are getting into properly?
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Post by TeamSirius on Jul 11, 2012 14:02:43 GMT -5
I get that it would be a bit odd if a 15 year old went out with a 28 year old since most of the time they wouldn't be with them for love. How often does that happen? Not often I would imagine. But Tonks is old enough to know what she wants. Old enough to understand love. To understand the consequences of a physical relationship with him. Once you're old enough - and I know that sounds rather condescending - age shouldn't matter. Tonks/Remus is one of my favourite pairings.
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Post by lucyolsen on Jul 11, 2012 17:30:15 GMT -5
Am I in the minority here that I don't actually like their relationship? I feel like he was bullied into it, and that Tonks herself was too depressed to function while he was away just reminds me of Bella and many other "romances" that I could do without.
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Post by Silenia on Jul 11, 2012 17:45:36 GMT -5
Oh, I am not that fond of the pairing either.
For me, they don't feel right together either, but the 'wrongness' (or rather, 'not-exactly-right'ness) doesn't have anything to do with their age.
Hence my earlier reply.
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Post by SkullAuror107 on Jul 11, 2012 18:53:56 GMT -5
Age should, in my opinion, not matter as long as the relationship is consensual and both (or all if it's a non-monogamous relationship) parties are of an age where they can properly give consent - in other words, realize what they are consenting to. Why should age matter as long as people are in love with each other and they all know what they are getting into properly? I completely agree with this. Age doesn't make a difference as long as both parties agree with it. Am I in the minority here that I don't actually like their relationship? I feel like he was bullied into it, and that Tonks herself was too depressed to function while he was away just reminds me of Bella and many other "romances" that I could do without. I can see what you mean about Remus being bullied into the relationship. Tonks came off as rather forceful in her wanting to be with him. But Remus did seem to generally care about her. All his excuses for not being with her were more for her benefit then his. I do think their relationship could have been more of a circumstantial thing though. I think the prospect of war and death is what formed the basis of there relationship (no one wants to die alone). And I think the death of Dumbledore really brought home the fact that no one was safe. And that thought probably made them more willing to rush into a relationship with one another. But even with all that I like them as a couple (but I'm not adverse to seeing them in a different pairing either). I think I would have liked to see their relationship grow more though. |
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Post by blackroses77 on Jul 11, 2012 19:15:46 GMT -5
I like Remus and Tonks as a couple but I also like when they are paired with someone else in fics. I don't think the age difference is a problem they are both adults and capable of deciding who they want to be with. And frankly love (the real, long lasting kind) is in short supply so when you find it you grab hold of it and don't let go no matter what other people think.
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Post by heraldofdreams on Jul 11, 2012 19:22:35 GMT -5
This was never one of my faves in HP, the only good thing that came of it was Teddy Lupin. I'm not against their age, but Tonks just isn't the right person for Remus. Did anyone else think the perfect person for her would have been Bill, like was initially implied in HBP? And really, outside of A mentioning in Phoenix and her small part in Goblet, Fleur Delacour came out of nowhere. On topic however, it wasn't the age that made it the wrong idea for me.
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Post by G. Novella on Jul 12, 2012 1:22:36 GMT -5
I liked Fleur and Bill together, so I don't ship Tonks with Bill. I think Remus and Tonks could work, but again they needed more development, I mean, show them happy together more and less upset. But I also like Remus/Sirius, so I tend to sometimes wish they ended up together...
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Post by basketsarah120 on Jul 13, 2012 3:57:54 GMT -5
I could never see Remus/Sirius together. I guess it also doesn't help I can't stand slash stories.
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Post by thepurplepen on Jul 13, 2012 7:57:02 GMT -5
I always reckoned the Tonks and Lupin relationship started off as a mutual fascination with each other. Tonks is just so happy all the time and I don't think Remus ever met anybody like her before.
Yes, I'm sure the Marauders were happy when they were at school but not cheerful like Tonks. People seem to think Sirius in school was like an eight year old girl on crack or even like the Weasley twins. And while that one is closer Sirius - in my mind - had so much more of an edge, he was less about making other people laugh and more about doing whatever the fuck he wanted. I always thought he was an over confident, arrogant teenage boy who was heir to one of the most influential Pureblood families at the time. Yes, he hated them but it doesn't negate the fact the he was raised to be an heir - who wouldn't let that shape them? James gets a much more realistic portrayal in things like fanfiction in that most people's view is how I imagined him.
But they're still nothing like Tonks. Who just seems to be incessantly, carelessly, cheerfully, deliberately, noisily happy all the time and never arrogant. Self-confident certainly.
And at the same time Tonks was fascinated by Remus who was unlike her in almost every aspect. Polite and always tightly contained, a little like if he let go of his feelings he would let the wolf inside him out. He was deeply afraid of that side of him. All Remus' words against staying with Tonks were for Tonks' benefit and said in fear of what the wolf could do to her. I never believed that Remus didn't want to be with her he was just afraid of what he could unknowingly do to her. He forced himself to be alone all his life and opening up was probably extremely difficult for him.
Like I said before, they danced around each other in mutual fascination in OotP, and that developed into mutual love in HBP and DH.
As for the age gap, I agree with the sentiment that as long as you're old enough, it shouldn't matter.
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Post by G. Novella on Jul 13, 2012 8:16:19 GMT -5
Age isn't an issue really, in the sense that Tonks was not a fourteen year old getting involved with a twenty-eight year old. She was a trained Auror who knew what the world around her was like. And Remus wasn't some kind of sex freak into lolita-esque themes.
Purplepen summed up their relationship beautifully. I love your analysis!
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Post by viralic1 on Jul 13, 2012 15:48:44 GMT -5
I never liked the pairing, personally.
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Post by kumainpink on Jul 13, 2012 15:59:01 GMT -5
I feel that Remus is too old for her, but since they're both adults, I'll let it slide.
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Post by werewulfking on Jul 13, 2012 16:09:46 GMT -5
I really like your statement purplepen. I agree with you and also think that the age gap isn't very big in our standards. And if you consider the age wizards reach then it is an even smaller difference.
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Post by isabelle2051 on Jul 16, 2012 12:22:19 GMT -5
I liked Bill and Fleur together as well (I saw this mentioned earlier) but there was an age difference there too. It wasn't as much as Remus/Tonks, but still about 7 or so years and she was younger than Tonks when she met Bill. I don't think this or the Remus/Tonk relationship is weird at all. I think they're both rather realistic in the sense that not everyone is the same age as their spouse. As for whether they had a healthy or loving relationship, I'm leaning towards yes, but that's a whole other issue entirely.
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sherza
Head Boy/Girl
Posts: 705
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Post by sherza on Jul 16, 2012 13:09:18 GMT -5
Remus/Tonks is sort of my OTP, so yeah, I think they're good together. Purplepen said most of what I think of the whole thing, so I'll just add this.
They balance each other out. Tonks reminded Remus that life is supposed to be fun, not a burden, and Remus provided Tonks with an emotional anchor, as I strongly suspect that when Tonks crashes emotionally, she crashes HARD. We get a glimpse of it in the books, but it's pretty much a natural consequence for people who are that exuberant emotionally ... it's not just the 'good' feelings that are so strong, so when they crash ... ouchies.
Edited to add: I think Bill and Fleur are actually a decade apart, not seven years. She was seventeen in Harry's fourth year, and I always got the impression that the gap between Bill and Charlie was the largest gap of the bunch, by quite a margin, and Charlie was roughly 21 as of the TriWiz. Seven years between Bill and Fleur would put him at 24, but I think he was 26 or 27, maybe even 28.
...
Just looked it up, and you're right. There's only 7 years between them. Well damn. Bill's younger than I thought then.
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Post by dracosfairmaiden on Jul 16, 2012 15:59:09 GMT -5
No I don't think so. As long as they both consent age doesn't matter. If she was a minor, then there would be a problem.
I sort of feel that they balance each other out. Remus lets Tonks be a little more serious but Tonks lets Remus know life can be good. I've always supported their paring despite Remus' excuses for leaving her in DH. I think he was trying to protect her and that was why he tried to leave the relationship. But I've always felt they were right for each other.
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