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Post by kumainpink on Jun 8, 2012 19:56:55 GMT -5
Hello, everyone! This thread is purely simple: Leave your reviews of HU here. I want everything: The good, the bad and the ugly. Give me honest feedback, so that I might grow as a writer.
Thank you! ;D
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Post by DarkRavie on Jun 14, 2012 15:02:16 GMT -5
Wow, I very much like your fic. There are many reading the books fics and yours is one of the best I've started reading. I like Severus but the way he is acting I'm hating him at the moment. LOL Will he change or will he stay the sadistic B**t**d he is now?
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 14, 2012 19:56:23 GMT -5
He's staying the way he is.  The person I wrote it for wanted him this way, so I shall keep him mean and nasty! |
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 16, 2012 9:34:14 GMT -5
I found this on FF a while ago but it's never clicked in my mind that you were the writer.. Good work, It's nice to see Neville and Harry together because you don't really get many of those fics around.
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 17, 2012 6:03:40 GMT -5
Review chapter 1: Admittedly, I'm not a fan of mpreg, but I'll give it a try. And I like the bashing list, as you can imagine  God, the first impression of Dumbledore is enough to raise my hackles. What a bastard – there's no other word for it. And we know how he makes sure his pawn comes out unscathed – emotionally and mentally scarred and just barely alive. Can we please make sure that the old codger comes out of this even more unscathed? And the same goes for Snape. What a jerk! The Dursleys straightened out over the years? Yeah right. Either Dumbledore lies, or he's delusional. Hm, at that time, Harry didn't know Luna, so you maybe should have introduced her somehow? Why does she come to comfort Harry? Ah yay, I am so happy that you brought in my favourite Marauders! They were the ones I really missed |
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 17, 2012 6:19:44 GMT -5
Luna will be featured in CoS as to when their friendship unfolds, and I'm keeping it ambiguous until then. Just know that the books are going to be pretty AU as they go on. The "Inner Circle" thing should be a big example of that. In fact, Cedric is closer to Harry sooner because of the AU that is taking place.
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 17, 2012 6:36:42 GMT -5
Oh, ok, then it's fine. Was just looking at it from canon, and there it would be a bit strange.
Ok, onto chapter 2, part 1:
It makes perfect sense how Harry reacted. When something annoys me about these fics it is how Harry always either accepts Dumbledore's reasoning too easily or even defends him. So I like it that you have feel him betrayed here. As he should!
Really like the reactions and how at least some people stood up for Harry. And that Hagrid finally questions his blind loyalty to Dumbledore and Minerva feels sorry. These two might be salvageable. Snape, however ... ugh. Nuff said.
Good to see that some others are coming around, though I felt like yelling at the Ravenclaws. Sitting him down and talk about good and bad attention, really? Idiots. They'll get a rude awakening later on, no doubt.
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 17, 2012 7:05:26 GMT -5
Chapter 2, part 2:
Ha, I was cheering Ron on when he yelled at Dumbledore. Well said! What use are these supposed blood wards if they can't protect Harry from the Dursleys? They were a much higher treat than Moldyshorts!
Ugh. You made the abuse really a bit extreme! That's so cruel and disgusting! And that Snape even can laugh about it ... please, please, have someone hex him to hell and back in the Potion Master chapter!
Glad Minerva finally realised that Albus' intentions are anything but good, and they even brought up my own problem with the so-called wards – if they ever worked, then why could these wizards get to Harry in the first place?
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 17, 2012 7:39:52 GMT -5
Chapter 3:
Really, I am normally not a violent person (despite all the nice ideas in the killing threads), but right now I *so* want to kick Dumbledore and Snape – hard and repeatedly! They deserve it, and I sincerely hope they will get their due.
Oh god. Dumbledore really believes that Filius' reaction is childish and he would seem to be the better man by ignoring him? *bangs head* That's so delusional I can't even find words to express how much!
*sigh* Looks like we have another such case in the Greengrass family. And a bunch of utter idiots in Slytherin. At least the majority of that house seems to have at least a sliver of common sense.
Anyway, you really took time to flesh the story out, to show the reactions of the different houses and their members, and I like that. So far, it's promising, you obviously put a lot of work into the story.
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 17, 2012 7:54:34 GMT -5
Sorry I didn't reply to your review of chapter two, but I was in the middle of watching a movie. I'm glad you seem to like the chapters so far, (I'm half-way through the rough draft for chapter four), and hope that my future ones will be just as good. On Snape: I'm bashing him hard because the person I came up with this for requested it. I know he's probably over-the-top, but there is an actual reason for his excessive cruelty. One that will be revealed sometime around PoA. On Dumbledore: Dumbledore has not yet contemplated that he's been thrown painfully off of his high-horse. As the series goes on, the message will sink in. For right now, he thinks it will all work out. When has it not for him? On the abuse: I've been dealing with a lot of personal stuff this past year, and the scene helped me vent a bit. Hope that makes sense. On the Greengrass Family: Yep.  I bawled after I wrote her reaction. As for fleshing out the characters, I did my best. I wanted to delve in to their depths a little bit, and explore their characters more. I've still got a LOT of that to do, and many back stories to cover. But, I'm having fun doing it. If you have anything you really want to know about, PM me and I'll answer. |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 17, 2012 8:27:05 GMT -5
No problem, dear, we all have a life outside of fanfiction! Well, I'm the last one to complain about Snape-bashing. If you haven't noticed yet, I can't stand him. As for Dumbledore ... well, I hope he falls really hard and the horse tramples him a bit - all accidentally, of course Of curse he would think he still is in control or will be able to turn everything to his liking. Another rude awakening in the making, I suspect. Oh, I understand - sometimes writing can help you to work through some personal problems. Thanks for the offer, if something comes up I can't wait for to see in the updates, I'll tell you! |
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 7:26:43 GMT -5
May I make a small suggestion? Since Harry's been starved then why not show the consequences of what would happen when someone (((molly))) over feeds him? There's not many CR fics where this happens, I think i've only read 1 and even that wasn't good.
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 7:39:36 GMT -5
Don't worry, Phoenix, I've already planned on it. It won't be evident until the Chamber of Secrets portion starts, though. Still, a good suggestion! |
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 7:52:17 GMT -5
oh yeah that's brilliant. it's just that I was reading a fic late last night on my phone by CatsAreCool named A Marauder's Plan where Sirius stays in England after P.O.A and discovers that Dumbles in Manipulate, Harry is abused etc..
That's when it hit me that the plot of your story could work with this 1..
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 7:57:37 GMT -5
Haha how so? I'm always up for new ideas.
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 8:00:02 GMT -5
read it and find out  |
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 8:02:44 GMT -5
Haha, okay. You always seem to post where I post...are you a stalker? o.O
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 8:05:26 GMT -5
Might be *cheeky grin*
Seriously though I read that story and realized that you may be able to use a few points from it and expand on them to add more to the story..
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 8:06:09 GMT -5
Haha, I'll take a look then, probably once I've finished writing chapter four. It should be out either sometime today or tomorrow  |
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 8:12:05 GMT -5
YESSSS!!! madness over
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 8:19:11 GMT -5
*laughs* You're an odd one, my friend. An odd one indeed.
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 8:22:05 GMT -5
Trust me, i'm only like this through the net. It's a way of escaping real life
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 23, 2012 8:34:35 GMT -5
Well, I enjoy your online madness then, Wings. |
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Post by Miss Wings on Jun 23, 2012 8:35:43 GMT -5
yayy thank you headmistress
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Post by mkatl1 on Jul 4, 2012 1:46:46 GMT -5
You have made snape such a sadistic bastard I love it!! .... But I don't get why since he loved lily *confused** and I hate dumbledore so I love how u turned everyone against him mwahahahaha .. Keep up good work (: ... And make sure u make dumbledore suffer heaps heaps more!!!
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Post by Kitty279 on Jul 4, 2012 1:51:38 GMT -5
If he really loved Lily, why did he want to save her, but didn't care one bit for her husband and son? It's as if he just wanted to have her for himself and believed she'd fall into his arms and forget all about James and Harry. And why did he bully and terrorize her son all these years if he really loved her?
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Post by mkatl1 on Jul 4, 2012 1:54:57 GMT -5
Okay I see rue point!! Like she would love Severus in return he's a foul git!!
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Post by kumainpink on Jul 4, 2012 1:56:27 GMT -5
First of all, everything about Snape will be explained in PoA. Until then, yeah. It's a mystery. Secondly, I hate Dumbles too. It was easy to turn people against him. And yeah, Dumbles will pay. You can be sure of that. |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jul 4, 2012 1:56:54 GMT -5
He may have loved her at one point, but with his actions, I always found it hard to really believe in this love. Imagine what Lily would say about his treatment of Harry.
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Post by kumainpink on Jul 4, 2012 2:01:54 GMT -5
I am inclined to agree with you, Kitty. I think it was a matter of lust and obsession, not love.
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The person I wrote it for wanted him this way, so I shall keep him mean and nasty!
I bawled after I wrote her reaction. 
