Random Quotes Time!

[physicssquid]

"I see we have a new celebrity," Snape sneered staring at Harry, "I wonder if he's as brilliant as they say." Harry swallowed his growing irritation at the man's pathetic pettiness as Snape belted out a question from the last chapter of the textbook. Hermione, of course, waved her hand frantically in the air, practically bouncing. Snape ignored her, glaring about the class. He then proceeded to ask an OWL level and NEWT level question, with the same results. After around twenty seconds of silent sneering, he stared at Harry. "So, Potter, I see you are as ignorant as your father."

Harry looked at Snape with innocent eyes. "I'm sorry sir," he said, "I have no idea how ignorant my father is considering how he was murdered by a pathetic sniveling waste of flesh who had the audacity to consider itself a Dark Lord." He smiled inside as he heard the Slytherins his while he insulted Voldemort. "I do know the answer to the question, but since Ms. Granger wanted to demonstrate her exceptional lack of social acumen," he said causing Snape to raise an eyebrow and Hermione to flush, "I'd give her the opportunity. The answers are, as follows: In the stomach of a goat, the same thing, and The Draught of Living Death. Would you mind terribly, sir, telling me about my father? I mean, I haven't had the opportunity to learn anything about him because a cowardly worthless wretch, a wretch whose greatest joy in life was buggering small boys while consuming mounds of excrement, decided somewhere in the syphilitic skrewt scrotum he used as a mind to kill my parents."

Snape hissed, enraged. "Mr. Potter, fifty points from Gryffindor and a week's worth of detentions!" Harry saw Hermione stiffen beside him.

Harry smiled while he mentally added Snape to his 'to-do' list. "Sir, are you punishing me because I insulted that bottom-feeding inbred pile of slug dung Voldemort? Does the Headmaster approve of your clear support for an enemy of the State?"

Snape seethed. "No Mr. Potter, it's for cheek."

Hermione let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's good sir. For a while I was afraid that you were deliberately supporting the veneration of a wizard so impotent and infantile that he met his end whilst committing an act both deplorable and outrageously pathetic."

All from Agent Double O-Hex by KafkaExMachina, one of the funniest scenes in the entire story.

[Hollythekitty]

"Okay, so hold on a second," he spoke up again. "If you're both still alive, how did I…Daniel stop Voldemort? Dumbledore told me the only reason I…we survived was because Mom cast some sort of powerful magic by sacrificing herself for us."

It was Daniel's turn to speak again. After laughing arrogantly, of course. "Well my worthless brother who most definitely isn't the real Boy-Who-Lived, I'll admit that there's nothing I like more than tooting my own horn, unless it's someone else tooting it for me-"

Hermione and Ginny began trying to push past one another.

"-and since you're so dead set on playing stupid about all this, I guess it gives me the perfect opportunity to do just that. The fact is, I didn't need help from Mom or anyone else to defeat Voldemort, because…" He took a moment to puff out his chest. "I'm a direct descendant of the four Hogwarts Founders, as well as Merlin, Morgana, Baba Yaga, the Scarlet Witch and the Witch of Endor, whose real name was Emma, if I'm not mistaken."

Harry looked less than convinced. "Assuming that's even a little accurate, wouldn't that mean that I'm a direct descendant of them all too?"

"Nope, just me."

"And how does that work?" he demanded, growing irritated.

"Magic, Harry. Magic."

From Harry Potter and the Something Something by Lengendary Legacy

[AllyJackson]

"Unbelievable!" cried Mrs. Weasley. "I have one son cheating off his friend, while his brothers are experimenting on first years in the corner! Where is Ginny? Dangling House-elves from the Astronomy tower?"

"Not likely, Hermione would kill me. That certainly goes against SPEW guidelines." smirked Ginny. in 'Changing the future with the Order' by marauders716.



Sirius sat straight up as Albus yelled the word. "Did you say crash?" He asked his eyes searching his godson for injuries.

"Actually I believe I yelled it." The headmaster said jovially. in ''Under a Watchful Eye' by mysecretthoughts.


The two oldest Weasley children were staring at the book in horror. "How did you not get hurt?" Bill asked hoarsely.

"Devine intervention." Harry suggested.

"We had a fairy god car." Ron added causing oth boys to lapse into laughter. in 'Under a Watchful Eye' by mysecretthoughts.


"Lilac?" Charlie mouthed to his older brother. "What type of color is lilac?"

"It a type of purple." Hermione answered.

"Then why not just say purple." Ron huffed.

"It's used to differentiate between shades. No one would look at lilac and violet and call them both purple."

Charlie snorted. "A real guy would." in 'Under a Watchful Eye' by mysecretthoughts.