Post by Nahara46 on Jul 13, 2012 19:28:27 GMT -5
I haven't gotten very far, and I have to take a break. Ron would never act like that, and AJ (Well... Harry) would never treat him like that. Your doing marvelous at writing the story and making a girl, but I have to say I dislike the bashing of Ron and Molly. (I'm a Ron basher myself on occasion... but not like this!) Also, AJ is becoming a bit of a mary-sue... So good at a lot of things, and now she had a eidetic memory? I'm sorry, but that is mary-sue material.
It's well written to fit a girl Harry, but it's leaning to close to Mary-sue for comfort. Maybe make her wrong on some accounts, and not so perfect.
It's well written to fit a girl Harry, but it's leaning to close to Mary-sue for comfort. Maybe make her wrong on some accounts, and not so perfect.