Story feelings

[melodypottersnape]

Have you ever read as story and loved it as much as you hated it. I'm reading a fic called My Little Prince by DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan and I love the story but I absolutely hate the characters some times.

It has a great plot with Snape secretly being the Vampire Lord and never being a DE or Professor. Basically no one know Harry stopped Voldemort not even Dumbles; so Dumbles cast a spell on Sirius to make him abandon Harry at the Dursleys. So Harry grows up abused and hates Sirius and Dumbles. Then he has a father/son relationship with Remus and a brotherly one with Blaise Zabini. Snape is also Harry's mate and he has known since Harry was 1.

Now here comes the part that had me wanting to punch Snape. Snape sets up an agreement with Dumbles to trade Harry like cattle for Vampire forces. That just showed a gross lack of respect to Harry as a human being. If that is not worse the condition was Harry had to be unharmed or no Vamps. He knew Harry would fight back so he would never have to give his warriors up because he let Dumbles believe that he wanted to hurt Harry. That showed total apathy towards Harry's wellbeing. I mean what if Harry had been permanently injured during the kidnapping. I would love for him to try an explain that one. "Well instead of introducing myself to you and getting to know you while at the same time trying to woo you; I decided to set you up to get injured and treat you like a pawn and to treat you like toy to be bought and manipulated.

Then comes the part that really makes me want to strangle Snape. Instead of trying to gain Harry's trust and love he instead treats him like a prisoner or object. He tells harry that he will stay over a year with him and sleep with him if he ever wants to see Remus or the Zabini's again. This shows a complete lack of compassion for Harry's feelings as well as a lack of respect for Harry's self worth. So now Harry is stuck in a mysterious and scary place were he is constantly watched by people loyal to Snape and he has no one he can talk to.

Then Snape goes even farther with his lack of respect because he almost goes back on the deal that Harry has been faithful to by nearly sending the Zabini's away. All because Maria Zabini called him on his high handed treatment of Harry. Basically he acts like a spoiled brat who throws a tantrum instead of acting like an adult by explaining himself or even making a retort. Basically he is acting like he going to become an abusive partner and it makes me want to strangle him.

I love the plot of the story and even how disgusting the author is making Snape act; I just hope that Snape cleans up his act and Harry doesn't become a doormat. lol.

Have you ever read a fic that you liked but still made you want to rant about? I've read a lot I think but I just couldn't get this one out of my head. lol.

[Kitty279]

To be honest, that's never really been a problem for me; if a story goes too much into a direction I don't like, I simply stop reading. After all, I am reading fanfiction to have fun, not to get all worked up. I have to admit, the story you are describing is one I'd never read.

[RandomPasserby]

Yes, I've read stories which I enjoyed but which had problematic elements or which triggered me. Not just fanfiction but actual published stories as well as TV shows and movies.

I haven't read the story properly, but I did flick through it. One thing which struck me was Snape hugging Harry who had recently broken his ribs and then not letting go when Harry struggles. Giving him a pain relief potion rather than letting go. I'm not a fan of non-consensual touching (which can be totally non-sexual but still makes me anxious. When somebody tells you to stop touching them, you stop touching them no matter how you feel about it)

I cracked some ribs getting hit by a car a year or so ago. Not only did they take a month or so to heal but while they did I couldn't so much as breathe without pain. Hugging anybody or being hugged was not on the menu in the slightest. In fact if somebody had tried to full on hug me I probably would have punched them rather than accept the hug. Not to mention the sort of 'stop it, you're hurting yourself by struggling' victim blaming makes me want to punch something.

Also giving him a calming draught without consent. Because a strange man hugging you, hurting you and refusing to let go is something which you should be anxious about. And having somebody else control your emotions is really terrifying.

Actually, that was about as far as I got before I had to do what I do when I read something problematic or triggering.

Step back, stop reading, breathe. Go look at baby animals.
Analyse why the thing I just read was problematic/triggered me
Accept that the thing was problematic and don't make excuses
Think about whether I can continue reading. This is more to do with triggers and self care than problematic elements. But if the problematic element becomes central and is treated as totally OK or praised then its similar.
Ask for trigger warnings (again this is regarding triggers rather than problematic elements).
Continue reading/Do not continue reading

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Many stories have problematic elements, even if you enjoy them. I really enjoy Harry Crow by robst, but there's some serious institutionalised misogyny in both the wizarding and goblin worlds which robst describes and that's excused as 'OK' or 'not that bad' or 'cultural differences'. I'm all about intersectionality but marriage contracts treating women like property or restrictions on female employment are not OK regardless of culture.

[Kitty279]

Well, I am not a fan of marriage contracts, either, and can very well do without them, but that's one of these details I can read in most cases. For me it's more if I don't agree with this or that detail - which is the case with most fics - or if I get really worked up about something. In the latter case, I usually stop reading. Sometimes I come back for another try when I have calmed down, but I have simply too much to read to continue when I dislike a story too much.

[RandomPasserby]

Well, I am not a fan of marriage contracts, either, and can very well do without them, but that's one of these details I can read in most cases. For me it's more if I don't agree with this or that detail - which is the case with most fics - or if I get really worked up about something. In the latter case, I usually stop reading. Sometimes I come back for another try when I have calmed down, but I have simply too much to read to continue when I dislike a story too much.

I admit, I was half talking about triggers and half about problematic content.

Problematic content is things like marriage contracts where women are treated like property or having no major characters of colour/non-heterosexual characters/female characters for no reason. It's harmful stereotypes being treated as normal or bad things being given a positive slant.

And it's OK to like problematic things. It's totally OK to like them. But at the same time you have to step back, look at what you're reading and go 'yeah, there's a problem there, that's not okay', even if it's a detail, even if it's supposed to be funny (I was rewatching a comedy series and realised just how problematic their continued use of slurs against gay and trans* people was, which made it less funny). If you don't then things become ingrained in media, in culture, in public consciousness and it makes it that much harder to fight back against.

I mean the idea of soulmate AU's (or creatures-with-destined-mates) is, in itself, problematic (child grooming, no free will, coercion etc) but recognising that it is problematic means that you can write them and point out the problematic things (which is a little meta, but) or at least acknowledge them.

[Kitty279]

That's a sort of slur I don't like, either. Even if it is meant funny, in too many cases it would not be, and even less for the ones who are directly concerned.

Bringing up marriage contracts and that sort of thing and to point out that they are wrong is another matter, yes. If it's done well, it can get people thinking. Sadly, I see it often just used as a means to force Harry (as he's in the Potter fandom usually the victim) into multiple marriages and tack many last names to his original one, together with money and influence. In many cases, there's not a word of critic. I've read a few, but got sick of it pretty soon. It's not okay, and these authors forget it's not all just looking at beautiful girls, but handling that many females without making one feel bad, and all the stress that is coming with it. Sure, in some parts of the world it still happens, but it is still demeaning to all of them. And to enforce that on school children?

But when I think back, then most cases where I got too worked up were about the behaviour of the characters. When you end up wanting to strangle half the cast, it's time to move on

[melodypottersnape]

I personally hat fics where Sue is dating Gary and then Sue finds out that Mary has a crush on Gary. So Sue and Mary talk and decide that they will both share Gary. Then they go tell him their decision as if he has no right to an opinion in the matter. I know a lot of guys dream of harems and I also know a lot of guys who only want to date one girl. I literally stop reading these fics when this happens because I can't stand the lack of respect shown. I've mainly only seen this in Naruto fics.

[Kitty279]

Oh yes, that are the worst. Some seem to think the man doesn't have to get his say at all and just be happy that he gets so many girls.
Reminds me a bit of a story that started out as a 'Sirius gets his name cleared and custody of Harry' story that sounded like it's mostly about these two. But it disintegrated into a 'how can two girls get Harry into bed with both of them' story soon, and i lost interest. Really sad.

[eskimoRock]

Kitty, that sounds like a story or two I've read :/ They always start out so well!

[melodypottersnape]

I also hate stories where the girl will constantly hit the gut on the back of the head. I mean every once in a while it can be humorous, but not when she is hitting him every few minutes for having his own opinion. One reason that I've almost stopped reading hetero pairings is because all the girls seem to throw tantrums every five minutes for not getting their way or they turn them into control freaks or abusive partners.

[Kitty279]

Oh, that hitting annoyed me pretty much in all these RtB fics, too. Particularly when Hermione did it for every little thing to Harry - and after knowing he was abused. Of Hermione of all people I'd expect to understand the repercussions. Still waiting for someone to have Harry move away from her or telling her off for it. Sadly, with the new purge that's probably never going to happen.
And of course, as the good guy Harry is, he will take the tantrums and everything in stride, right? No, not my type of fic, either.

[RandomPasserby]

I mentioned Harry Crow in an earlier post, when it came to problematic content. And I still love it but the last couple of chapters have been really pissing me off.

A minor plot point was that Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown (aka two thirteen/fourteen year old girls) are flirting with boys. Because of Padma's relationship with Harry (who is somewhat ridiculously powerful) none of the boys who they are flirting with feel comfortable in responding or refusing them for fear of crossing Harry.

Parvati and Lavender flirting with boys is treated as the problem.

And the narrative agrees with it. All the characters agree with it. Nobody, even people who have been raised in the muggle world, go 'they're just kids, it is harmless and even if it wasn't, they should be allowed to make their own decisions and supported the whole way'.

A couple of chapters later, there's a fair and Parvati and Lavender agree to meet up with some of the boys who are with the circus part of it. The boys, as it turns out, aren't particularly nice people, and Parvati and Lavender break the rules by sneaking out. They are caught before anything can happen.

They are treated worse than the older boys who were willing to take advantage of them.

Once again, the narrative lands firmly on the side of the characters who are pretty much telling them that they would have deserved what happened.

Bearing in mind this story is rife with couples who meet each other as children and are together with very little conflict since.

And it reeks of slut shaming. Because how dare girls want to have sexual agency, or want to try out flirting. And yes teenagers do make stupid mistakes but when a character I'm supposed to sympathise with gives advice which boils down to 'abide by these rules and hope they decide to rape somebody else' I get irritated.

Especially because the author is a middle aged man.