How far is too far to go with abuse?

[RandomPasserby]

One thing everyone can agree on is that Harry was abused by the Dursleys.

We know that there was neglect (living in a cupboard, not being fed adequately), emotional abuse (calling him a freak, attempting to curb his curiousity) and some physical abuse (even if that was just condoning Dudley beating him up)

Now I fully believe that there was some physical abuse by both adult Dursley's when Harry was younger (I'm sorry but you don't get to the point where you can swing a frying pan at a 12/13 year old's head calmly and the kid only reacts to duck without having inflicted abuse on the kid before. Likewise trying to choke a fifteen year old) as well as turning a blind eye/actively encouraging Dudley to beat Harry up.

My question is when does the abuse by the Dursleys turn from believable to not so?

[Kitty279]

Considering Vernon's temper, I can see him losing control and hitting Harry now and then with his hands/fists or trying to strangle him. And we know Harry was locked into his cupboard without food. Where it turns rather unbelievable for me is when he is locked up for a week and more without drink and food (and without toilet access - don't tell me that he relieved himself in his cupboard, Petunia is a cleanliness freak and would not allow him to stink the house up). Or heavily bleeding injuries that are "cured" by locking him up. Or causing these bleeding injuries in the first place. Okay, Harry can as a consequence of a fall hurt himself and end up with a bleeding cut, but Vernon cutting him deliberately or something like that - that seems overdone to me. Carving 'freak' into his skin? Please - the Dursleys want to be normal, and if anyone saw 'that' by accident, the uproar would be their social end. And Harry having had dozens of broken bones as well.

IMO the Dursleys would try to keep any abuse to a degree that no one would notice. So, no black eyes on a regular basis or bruises in the face, or anything where he's too obvious in pain or limping or something like that, particularly during school time. People could begin to ask questions, no matter how many lies they told about Harry.

[physicssquid]

I agree that locking Harry up for a week without access to the bathroom, or food and water, is rather unbelievable, just as I can't see Vernon grabbing a belt or similar implement and using it as a whip.

What I can imagine them doing is grabbing him roughly, and dragging him from one room to another, either by the hair, the scruff of the neck, part of his clothing, or his arm. I'm not so sure about Vernon actually bothering to work up the energy to hit Harry with his fists. That just seems to me to be maybe a little bit too much effort for him, especially when he has a son who likes beating people up. Vernon strikes me as the kind of guy to prefer sitting stuffing his face while watching his son do all the hard work, instead of getting up and doing it himself. He does seem to be rather too lazy to do much, despite the fact that he seems to have a fairly important job, which, makes me wonder just how much effort he puts into actually doing his work instead of getting others to do it for him.

[Kitty279]

In the end, Vernon would be as guilty as Dudley if he just sat back and watched how his innocent little Duddykins nearly killed his cousin. When you think about it, what father does that? (That's one of my main problems with the books - they make it perfectly clear that bullying and abuse are perfectly all right, no adult is ever going to do anything about it, and you have to forgive your tormentors and give them thousand new chances, and in the end you and your family and friends are going to suffer while the bullies get away scot-free)

[RandomPasserby]

What I can imagine them doing is grabbing him roughly, and dragging him from one room to another, either by the hair, the scruff of the neck, part of his clothing, or his arm.

That is actually canon. PS on two seperate occasions Vernon grabs Harry by the scruff of the neck/the waist and throws him into the hall (note that throw is the actual word used). CoS he drags Harry up the stairs.

I'm not so sure about Vernon actually bothering to work up the energy to hit Harry with his fists.

He manages to work up the energy to strangle Harry in OotP. I can't imagine it was a particularly planned thing, but I imagine if Vernon had had a bad day or whathaveyou, he would lash out at Harry. He lashes out at Dudley in PS for holding them up. Mind you he also threatens to flay Harry alive in CoS.

Now admittedly he does say that a 'good beating' would have cured Harry of his magic but I don't think that means he's never hit Harry before. Simply that whatever he's inflicted before didn't count as a good beating.

[Kitty279]

Remember Marge Dursley and her questions how Harry was treated at St. Brutus and how she demanded to tell them to beat him more? And how she - as an adult - used her cane to keep Harry from winning a game or let her dog attack him? Again, no word of critic, it was just business as usual. That's one disturbed family ... and of course, no consequences whatsoever in the end for them.

[RandomPasserby]

Yes I have to wonder about Marge Dursley since she thinks that hitting a four year old (Dudley's fifth birthday, so Harry was still four) with a cane is appropriate. Or letting a dog attack a ten year old so the kid hides in a tree for hours.

Although this has to be the best story featuring Marge Dursley www.fanfiction.net/s/5165369/1/My-Nephew-Harry

[Kitty279]

That story is the exception to the rule, I think. Canon doesn't show any redeeming qualities of Marge, and fanon normally isn't any better.

[celticmagic]

I was reading a fan fiction where Vernon put Harry through a glass table then put him into the cupboard while there was glass in Harrys back. I can't think of the name now, but he had some neighbors and if I remember correctly Vernon got a restraining order for them because they tried to help Harry.

[Kitty279]

That seems a bit unbelievable to me. If the neighbours mentioned why they tried to help, then court or police would have to investigate, right?

[celticmagic]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I found the story its called 'Recnac Transfaerso'

www.fanfiction.net/s/1399984/1/Recnac-Transfaerso