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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:16:41 GMT -5
For each post, we shall name ways to kill the ultimate she-bitch in Harry Potter: Dolores Umbridge! The rules are simple:
Come up with a way to kill Umbridge! Be crazy, be silly or be cruel! Just as long as she dies!
Thanks to Kitty for giving me the inspiration for this...
NOW LET'S KILL THAT UMBITCH!
I say we strap her to a rocket and send her to outer space! She'll be the first flying toad, ever! >=D
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 2:27:50 GMT -5
Glad to be of service  *snicker* Nice idea to send her to the outer space! Turn her into a real toad (shouldn't be too hard, right?) and then lock her up with a snake. Preferably one that isn't too hungry yet, so she can enjoy the fear for a while before being eaten. |
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:32:37 GMT -5
Glad to be of service *snicker* Nice idea to send her to the outer space! Turn her into a real toad (shouldn't be too hard, right?) and then lock her up with a snake. Preferably one that isn't too hungry yet, so she can enjoy the fear for a while before being eaten.  |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 2:35:25 GMT -5
Tell Filch she has killed his beloved Mrs Norris and then hand her over and allow him to use all these nice toys he keeps for the students.
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:38:33 GMT -5
Tell Filch she has killed his beloved Mrs Norris and then hand her over and allow him to use all these nice toys he keeps for the students.
How about turning her into a fly and feeding her to a toad? That'll be a bit of cruel irony for her... |
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Post by codygotkilld on Jun 13, 2012 2:41:04 GMT -5
First I would tranfigure her into one of those horrid cat's that are hung in her office. Then I would toss her into a blender and set it to high. After that I would send the kitty a la shake to old Voldy and watch gleefully as he croaks over from the pure nastiness that is and always will be UmBitch.
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:42:36 GMT -5
First I would tranfigure her into one of those horrid cat's that are hung in her office. Then I would toss her into a blender and set it to high. After that I would send the kitty a la shake to old Voldy and watch gleefully as he croaks over from the pure nastiness that is and always will be UmBitch.
THAT'S BRILLIANT!
Hahahahaha! Needlessly cruel and highly hilarious!
...Giant Squid. Need I say more? |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 2:45:24 GMT -5
First I would tranfigure her into one of those horrid cat's that are hung in her office. Then I would toss her into a blender and set it to high. After that I would send the kitty a la shake to old Voldy and watch gleefully as he croaks over from the pure nastiness that is and always will be UmBitch. And there Kuma in Pink thinks *I* am evil! Put the Muggleborns and Halfbreeds in charge of the magical world and than send her to Azkaban in the direct care of the Dementors. She'd enjoy these horrible memories quite a bit, I think. |
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:48:12 GMT -5
And there Kuma in Pink thinks *I* am evil! Put the Muggleborns and Halfbreeds in charge of the magical world and than send her to Azkaban in the direct care of the Dementors. She'd enjoy these horrible memories quite a bit, I think.
Let's drop her in boiling oil and listen to her pained screams as she's melted alive...  |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 2:52:00 GMT -5
Ha, that's fun!
Send envoys to the giants and have them hand her over as part of the gift for the giants as a special toy and food reserve.
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Post by katiejaneway1 on Jun 13, 2012 2:53:28 GMT -5
How about turning her into a pink colored toad and sending her to the dark lord to feed his pet snake nagini...
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 2:54:34 GMT -5
Ha, that's fun! Send envoys to the giants and have them hand her over as part of the gift for the giants as a special toy and food reserve.
Wow! *applauds*
Let's do the same, but with the Centaurs! If anyone deserves revenge, they do! |
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Post by codygotkilld on Jun 13, 2012 3:02:41 GMT -5
Another would involve a large stone chamber with great acoustics, massive sound system, a stone chair with wrist and ankle chains, and a continuous loop of the Barney theme song.
Not as good as my first post but it would be a slow and painful way to go. As your brain literally melts from the theme song you will begin to witness hallucinations of large, purple dinosaurs dancing in a circle...while giggling dully.
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 3:04:48 GMT -5
Halluzinations ... that gives me more ideas. How about forcing her to relive watching all the DA meetings, or the farewell prank of the Weasleys in an endless loop?
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Post by codygotkilld on Jun 13, 2012 3:09:36 GMT -5
Halluzinations ... that gives me more ideas. How about forcing her to relive watching all the DA meetings, or the farewell prank of the Weasleys in an endless loop? That could very well work if it would be possible. I wonder if you could create a long term illusion that was like a twisted Alice in Wonderland but have all of Luna's creatures in it. Wouldn't that be hilairious to see with UmBitch as the main victim? Her poor brain would break from the horror lol. ;D |
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 3:14:32 GMT -5
Hahaha! You guys just made me laugh!
How about making her listen to Friday by Rebecca Black on constant replay? Her ears will bleed! >=D
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Post by acevons on Jun 13, 2012 3:19:29 GMT -5
Hahaha! You guys just made me laugh! How about making her listen to Friday by Rebecca Black on constant replay? Her ears will bleed! >=D hahaha, that's cruel.  Let's send her to a quest of finding the elusive poisonous toads and let the frogs take care of her. |
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Post by Serena R. Snape on Jun 13, 2012 3:37:36 GMT -5
send her an invitation to a private dinner with Justin Bieber (no offence to Bieber lovers! XD).
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 3:43:51 GMT -5
Or an invitation to dinner with Honey the Hungarian Horntail. We won't tell her that it's slowly roasted pink toad on the menu, do we?
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Post by mathalamus on Jun 13, 2012 4:04:25 GMT -5
make her suffer a Dementors Kiss. her soul would be gone. forever. no rest as it would be slowly digested for a thousand years inside the stomach of a dementor.
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sherza
Head Boy/Girl
Posts: 705
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Post by sherza on Jun 13, 2012 4:48:59 GMT -5
Stick her in a room with about thirty kids aged 2-5, without her wand, whom she must entertain and otherwise attend to, without a wand. And unable to speak. While about twenty TV's are blaring a selection of the most mind-numbing children's shows that have ever existed on constant loops.
And the only way out away from the horror and insanity of this fate (which the kids can't see or pass through) is a door that leads to a room where she will be flayed and roasted ... alive.
And she knows this.
Then sit back and watch how long it takes her to decide which is worse, serving toddlers until she dies naturally, or ...
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 4:57:54 GMT -5
Sherza, I like your style! Disturbing and funny at the same time!
xD
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sherza
Head Boy/Girl
Posts: 705
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Post by sherza on Jun 13, 2012 5:02:19 GMT -5
I figured it's appropriate, since she HATES kids. Having to change nappies (for the youngest, since at two, not everyone's potty-trained), wipe noses, feed, etc ad nauseum a bunch of kids, without being able to harm them, while being forced to listen to and watch things like Barney and Friends ... yeah. She'd go completely starkers inside of a week, and watching her slip down the slope would be fun as hell ala the books.
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 5:16:12 GMT -5
Oooh, I like that idea! And if she is not tender and careful, but treats them roughly or worse, the room is throwing stinging hexes at her! We need to have a way to discipline her, after all.
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Post by kumainpink on Jun 13, 2012 5:20:43 GMT -5
*grins* Of course! She has to be punished, after all! |
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Silvertongue
Headmaster/Headmistress
I've got Slytherin Pride
Posts: 1,595
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Post by Silvertongue on Jun 13, 2012 6:35:18 GMT -5
I figured it's appropriate, since she HATES kids. Having to change nappies (for the youngest, since at two, not everyone's potty-trained), wipe noses, feed, etc ad nauseum a bunch of kids, without being able to harm them, while being forced to listen to and watch things like Barney and Friends ... yeah. She'd go completely starkers inside of a week, and watching her slip down the slope would be fun as hell ala the books. You realise that starkers means NAKED! UNWANTED MENTAL IMAGES! NYAH! Transfigure her into a slug and give her a bath in a pot of salt. OR, give her veritaserum in front of the masses and ask her about her punishments and watch as the masses rip her apart. |
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 7:03:09 GMT -5
Hm, there were some people who might deserve seeing her starkers as a punishment ... O:-)
Make her write lines with her own Blood Quill, which is jinxed to switch from one body part to the next over time, when the message has sunk in deep enough at one place. And make sure she's surrounded by mirrors that show her that 'I love halfbreeds' is etched into her face.
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Silvertongue
Headmaster/Headmistress
I've got Slytherin Pride
Posts: 1,595
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Post by Silvertongue on Jun 13, 2012 7:06:01 GMT -5
Tattoo it on her!
Go through her family history and prove that her Mother was a halfblood and her Father was half wizard half merperson!
Splice her with something odd like a porcupine and get all the purebloods to curse at the "stinking halfbreed".
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Post by Kitty279 on Jun 13, 2012 7:09:51 GMT -5
You are sure that she's not the result of a experiment of cross-breeding humans and toads in the first place?
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Silvertongue
Headmaster/Headmistress
I've got Slytherin Pride
Posts: 1,595
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Post by Silvertongue on Jun 13, 2012 7:13:35 GMT -5
*snickers* Quite possible.
Turn her into a toad and release her on the motorway and watch her go SPLAT!
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